I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So squirting runs in the family.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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