I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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