he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize