yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
