Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
