That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
me + whiskey = a bad person
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
