i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
