Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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