I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
