Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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