No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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