love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize