so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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