THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize