She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
