I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
