k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
