If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
In America we eat man semen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So many bounce houses so little time
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
