Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
