I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
