I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It was confusing and full of hummus
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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