I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He has the fingertips of a God
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize