Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
