its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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