bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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