this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
