i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
