you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Welp...herpes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
