it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
