is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
