Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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