I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
