I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
