dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
