In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
