I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As shirtless as possible
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
