If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
