Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
