Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
