Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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