I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to make out with him forever
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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