I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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