i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
