How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
