are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
