Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
