ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
