He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
