is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize