It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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