But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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