We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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