i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
