You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
