i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
