You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
