but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
