The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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