I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize