the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize